by Blogsip Admin | Mar 10, 2022 | Self-Awareness
Developing self-love is a process of speaking and acting according to your values, belief, and feelings.
Self-acceptance is a critical component of self-love. Instead of negative self-talk, you are your friend, whispering words of encouragement. Most of the time, how we are treated as children impacts how well we can love ourselves as adults, too. It’s harder to love yourself if you’ve been neglected, criticized, or even abused. Fortunately, we can fix this. According to Daphne Kingma, you may love yourself by speaking up, acting out, clearing, and setting.
Speak Out
The first thing to loving yourself is learning to honor your needs and feelings through communicating them to other people. Kingma defines speaking out as, “Taking the risk of saying the things you’ve never been able to say before. It involves advising others on how to be happy—speaking your mind. Saying what kind of support, passion, and friendship you need… ” (2004, p. 48).
So, how does one become a voice? Decide first what to say. Then, look back over the previous week; where do you struggle to speak up? Once you’ve clarified what you need to say, start small. Find people who are easier to express your needs and practice with them. Soon you can move on to more challenging situations. Speaking out requires courage but ultimately will lead to feeling higher self-worth.
Act Out
Action is the root of change. To love yourself more is to act by your beliefs, values, and feelings. Actions can include doing new things or following through on plans and goals. Kingma defines actions as “…energy, a new beginning, the transformation of how things are into the way you’d like them” (2004, p.81).
Knowing where to adjust is critical. Take a few minutes to write about what is working in your life and what you would like to change. Then, write down specific steps for change with the items that need action. Make these steps small enough to be manageable. After you switch, reflect on how you felt after you acted. If it didn’t feel right, adjust your goal.
Clear Out
Clutter fills your life, creating a sense of weight and dread. Clearing your space, energy, and body are all methods to clean away (Kingma, 2004). Kingma says, “When your body is clear – of chemical toxins, negative emotional residue, excess weight, and mental chatter – your soul can proceed toward goodness, truth, and beauty” (2004, p.111).
Where do you need to clear out? First, make a list of the areas which need some clearing. Prioritize first from most to least important. Then, starting at the top, break each item down into small steps.
Set Out
What is your biggest dream? What is your top passion? Enjoy cooking? Love to move? Do you want to help humanity? What do you see? Setting off means embarking on a dream-chasing trip. The way to a higher level, to what has more significance, must be taken, says Kingma. It would assist if you changed your habits, and set out in the direction of something new” (2004, p.148).
If you are unaware of what you love, try remembering your childhood and teenage hobbies. What did you enjoy doing? Most likely, it made you forget yourself and lose track of time. But how can you accomplish more of what you love? Write five ways you can incorporate your passion into your life now.
Loving yourself is a four-step process. The first step is acknowledging your thoughts and feelings through communicating them to others. The second phase transforms your life to reflect your objectives, values, and beliefs. The third step is clearing out emotional, mental, and physical clutter. The final step is creating life goals and working towards them. These steps help create self-respect and happiness.
by Blogsip Admin | Mar 10, 2022 | Self-Awareness
You may be oblivious to indicators of abuse. Knowledge is power when it helps save lives. Spot abuse early and avoid tragedy.
Domestic Violence
Domestic violence can be emotional, physical, financial, or sexual. If you are not comfortable in your relationship, step back and look at why.
Abuse can take many forms and may not seem abusive at first, as is sometimes the case with emotional abuse. Still, if a pattern of repeated behaviors makes you uncomfortable, you may be in an abusive relationship. Women are the most usually abused.
Signs of Abuse
Abusive behaviors include the following:
- Withholding money so you cannot purchase necessities;
- Isolating you from family and friends;
- Any behavior that is used to control or manipulate you;
- Intimidation;
- Sexual abuse;
- The attitude that a woman is to be barefoot and pregnant take care of husband and house, etc…or other strong attitudes about what a woman should do or not do;
- Jealous of any other relationship, family, or friends.
Help can be found at your local YMCA or the Department of Human Services. Ask for help! Even if you are a strong woman, there are ways that you can be helped that you don’t even know you need. It is reassuring not to be alone; you can get out of the situation; you do not need to stay. Call 911 if it is an emergency!! Tell them you are in danger; they cannot help you if you do not speak up. So many women are mistreated for years before receiving treatment.
Ways to Get Help
When a person is in a domestically violent situation, no matter what type of violence, the victim needs to get out; a plan of action must be in place to get out safely. One of the first steps to do is to establish a line of communication with someone outside of family and friends; if possible, if not, contact the local police department and ask for help. WomensHealth.gov is an excellent place to develop your plan and understand how to get out of the situation.
Understand Your Abuser
The plan to escape should also include understanding your abuser. Understand what they may do if they are angered, plan how to handle the anger, and run it. If the threat of physical violence is high, make yourself a tiny target by curling in a ball and tucking yourself into a corner with your head covered.
If your abuser prefers poisoning methods, do not eat or drink anything they may offer. If your abuser likes to set up traps, be extra diligent in watching for signs of traps.
Pack a bag with essential belongings and store it in a location where it’s easy to grab in a hurry. If you can drive, keep it in your trunk; if you cannot move, hide the bag somewhere prominent, so your abuser will not realize it. Having the bag evident will blend in, such as with the children’s laundry in their closets. If you cannot hide it in a prominent place, try to conceal an escape bag outside or in a closet by the door.
Do not wear anything that can be used as a weapon, such as scarves, long necklaces, or loose clothing.
Find excuses to leave and then return, as returning builds trust with the abuser. The abuser will trust you to come back to use this to escape. Try calling the domestic abuse hotline when you are out on one of these trips.
All this action may make you feel paranoid, but if it keeps you and anyone you are trying to protect alive, feeling paranoid is worth it for a time. Practice, practice, practice! If you practice your escape plan, you will be more prepared if your abuser tries to stop you. Be ready for anything, try to plan for the worst, and be prepared for it.
by Blogsip Admin | Mar 10, 2022 | Self-Awareness
As a nation, have we become lazier in recent years? We exercise less, eat more ‘fast food,’ and work too many hours—all to our health.
When did you last see the instructions before putting something together or making it work? Although, according to the article, “95 percent of all returned gadgets still work, Americans don’t read manuals,” only 5% of returns are because an item is broken. Generally, an item is returned because it doesn’t meet customer expectations. Perhaps it’s too confusing to use (68%), or the buyer returns the object due to a change of heart (26%), frequently called “buyer’s remorse.”
However, consumer frustration often comes from not taking the time to read and understand what was purchased. For instance, a friend who works in the customer call center of a large health care insurance company explains that members call because they either don’t understand or have not taken the time to read their insurance coverage.
There aren’t insufficient hours in the day to do all we have to do. So it becomes easier to rely on someone else or put off doing what we know needs to be done. However, when it comes to being lazy, reading instructions or defaulting to someone else for the answer aren’t the only areas where Americans fall on the job.
Increase in Average Weight and Associated Diseases
About 36% of Americans are obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). While drugs, illnesses, and genetics may contribute to obesity, environmental variables such as calorie intake and lack of physical exercise also play a role.
According to the Get Fit America Foundation, 78% of Americans do not fulfill the fundamental exercise guidelines. The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) cites that five times as many people watch television as exercise daily. Those who exercise receive less than an hour every day. The CDC reports that only 20% of adults over 18 years of age get sufficient “aerobic and muscle-strengthening physical activity.” That means 80% do not.
According to the November 2017 Gallup Well-being article, “In U.S., Self-Reported Weight Up Nearly 20 Pounds Since 1990,” American men and women are 20 pounds heavier today than the average reported in 1990. Statistics show these diseases are related to obesity:
- 80% of type II diabetes;
- 70% of cardiovascular disease;
- 42% of breast and colon cancer diagnosed among obese individuals;
- 30% of gall bladder surgery.
The first step in controlling your weight and managing related diseases is to get the recommended amount of exercise prescribed by the federal government. A recent ABC news report indicates the current amount is 150 minutes per week. That’sHowever, that’s a mere 30-minute workout five days a week.
American Workforce Getting Lazier According to Some
Exercising and eating aren’t the only areas in our lives where we’ve taken the easy road. Some say that laziness has leaked into the workplace as well.
“Are American employees become lazy? Writer Anthony Mirhaydari suggests that “many qualified workers seem to be turning their noses at jobs they see as demeaning. Or they don’t pay what they need, and instead, abandon the job to go it alone or retire.”
Mirhaydari is unsure whether to blame employees for being lazy or companies for not rewarding even long-term jobless. Writer Kasey Steinbrinck probably would criticize the employers.
In the post he wrote, “Are You a Fat and Lazy American Worker?” he cites a Newsweek article that claims Americans have the fewest vacation days and holidays and work more hours per week and weeks per year. We put in more time at work than in other industrialized countries, by his estimate. Additionally, according to the BLS, he states that American worker productivity has increased by 400% since 1950.
From Steinbrinck’s viewpoint, it sounds as if American workers aren’t lazy at all. However, Americans working more hours doesn’t mean they are more productive. Though many agree with this Inc. article, “U.S. Workers Ranked as World’s Most Productive,” which reports that American employees are extremely hard workers, others quote BLS figures to refute this fact.
Computers and Television Substitute for Playing and Babysitting
No computers grew up in the sixties, and television programs were in infancy. Television stations didn’t even operate 24 hours a day. Instead, they signed off at night with a flag-waving to the sound of the Star-Spangled Banner.
I can remember going to bed without dinner more than once because I didn’t come home when the streetlights came on (a sign that it was getting dark outside), as my parents had warned me to do. I was too busy playing hide-and-seek or skating with my friends. You would never catch me inside watching television while the sun was still shining.
A 2020 research in the journal Pediatrics, “children with high levels of screen entertainment use” (television and computers) and low physical activity levels are more likely to have psychological difficulties.
That doesn’t mean that all computer use is terrible. On the contrary, many iPad apps and games appear to offer good opportunities for teaching young children. As Americans become more technologically dependent, we forgo some of life’s most minor pleasures, such as long strolls on the beach or a good game of tennis to work out the stress.
It’s time to look in the mirror. Are we relying too much on conveniences or blaming busy schedules to the detriment of our physical, mental, and social health? To avoid it is to be proactive and not a lazy American.
by Blogsip Admin | Mar 9, 2022 | Self-Awareness
Feeling stressed out and overwhelmed? Mindfulness helps soothe the mind and body. Try these five practices to achieve inner peace.
Women are often busy juggling many responsibilities, trying to do multiple tasks at once. As a result, many women feel burnt out. Mindfulness techniques are the key to rejuvenation, and they can help you do that. Sue Thoele, the author of The Mindful Woman, argues that mindfulness is a “great stress reliever…” Here are five of Thoele’s mindfulness practices to help achieve serenity.
The Body is a Map
We often ignore our bodies signals. Thoele recommends taking “…a few minutes to pay attention to how your body feels”. Usually, we don’t pay attention to signs that something is wrong. For example, when working in a high-stress job, I started having panic attacks at night. Because my body told me something wasn’t right. Our body is a beautiful map, pointing us to wisdom.
Change Thought Patterns
Our sensations result from the ideas that we have in our minds. There are weeds and thistles in the garden of your mind if you have negative, unhealthy, self-critical thoughts.
After recently experiencing depression, I realized how many negative thoughts I was thinking. By changing these thoughts, I changed how I was feeling. Changing thinking requires awareness and practice. The best method to do this is to notice when you are in a negative mood and find the thought attached to the spirit. Then, ask yourself, “Is this a helpful thought?”
Remain Positive
Having a negative view of life causes stress and tension. Thoele advises people to search for the positive, pleasant, and beautiful in everything. It will teach them how to emphasize the positive. It is the most crucial step.
Sometimes I get stuck with a list of negative thoughts about my life and feel overwhelmed and down; as soon as I focus on the positive, my mood changes. “How can I be positive today?” Positive people will get the most out of their day.
Return to the Breath
Thoele states, “Breathing is the best medicine. Not only does it keep us alive. But it can also interrupt negative thought patterns, bring new vitality to needy body parts, encourage deep sleep, calm quaking nerves, and give the brain a burst of energy and power, among its numerous advantages.”
When I forget to breathe, I become panicky. A quick solution is triangle breathing. You inhale for three counts, hold for three and breathe out for five. Repeat as necessary. Once you have relaxed, you can handle whatever situation you need to.
Chose Gratitude
Thoele clarifies, “Gratitude entails seeing and appreciating life’s riches… Emphasizing and appreciating the good causes your heart to expand, similar to how warm sunshine causes a flower to bloom “‘.
When I feel negative about my life circumstances, it helps list all the things I am grateful for. For example, feeling dissatisfied with my body transforms into feeling thankful for having good health. Being unhappy about the aesthetics of my living space turns into being grateful for having an affordable house to call home. Find as many things as you can be thankful for.
Mindfulness is a practice of changing your consciousness. So often dwell on the negative, becoming overwhelmed, stressed, and resentful. By tuning into your body and thoughts, you can find the solution to what is bothering you. A positive attitude and Gratitude can help you keep your mind on the positive. Finally, Breathing is a good technique for returning to calm.
